A Goodbye Email from a Hardcore Programmer

21 Nov 2013

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I quit TCS. Today is my last day. I wanted my final goodbye email to be very special, unique and resemble what I did in TCS. This is what I sent to my colleagues today :)

/**


 * @author Premkumar Masilamani


 * @company Tata Consultancy Services


 * @about My Life in TCS


 * @startDate 03-Nov-2004


 * @endDate 21-Nov-2013


 */





import com.hindustancollege.ComputerScienceDegree;


import com.love.programming.SoftwareEngineerDream;





public class PremsLifeInTCS extends SoftwareEngineerDream implements ComputerScienceDegree {





  public static void main(String[] args) {





    // Phase 1 - Jobless Wanderer


    do {


      attendInterview();


      if (gotJobInTCS) {


        passedInterview = true;


      }


    } while (!passedInterview);





    // Phase 2 - Learning the Trade


    while (working12PlusHoursADay()) {


      learnTechnology();


    }





    // Phase 3 - Dollor Dreams


    for (int i = 0; i < 10000; i++) {


      askForOnsite();


      if (yes) {


        gotoUnitedStates();


        break;


      } else {


        continue;


      }


    }





    // Phase 3 - Enjoy Life in US


    while (inUnitedStates) {


      noWorkAllPlay();


      if (tcsLostTheProject()) {


        comeBackToIndia();


        break;


      }


    }





    // Phase 4 - Trying to fit in the corporate world


    if (foughtWithManager() || foughtWithClient() || notOKWithApplicationDesign() 
                 
  || workedFor2Years()) {


      switch (project) {


      case AMEX:


        break;


      case TEG:


        break;


      case TFS:


        break;


      case LandG:


        break;


      default:


        dontGotoOffice();


      }


    }





    // Phase 5 - Kindling my romantic side


    while (notGoingToOffice()) {


      dateGirls();


      if (foundTheRightOne()) {


        marryHer("Sangavi");


      }


    }





    // Phase 6 - Becoming a family man


    goToOnsite(chooseOnsite(maxCurrencyRate("US", "GB", "SG", "AU")));


    while (inUnitedKingdom) {


      makeFriends();


      hostParties();


      workHard();


      if (visaExpired) {


        comeBackToIndia();


        break;


      }





    }





    // Phase 7 - Doing the inevitable


    if (!challengingWork() && !changingProject() && !learningNewTechnology() 
               && gotGoodOffer()) {


      sayGoodByeToTCS("Thanks to everyone in TCS");


      pleaseKeepInTouch();


    }





  }





  public static void pleaseKeepInTouch() {


    viaBlog("https://blog.smileprem.com/contact/");


    viaLinkedIn("https://www.linkedin.com/in/premkumarmasilamani");


    // viaFacebook("i-do-not-use-facebook");


    // viaTwitter("i-do-not-use-twitter");


    if (emergency) {


      viaPhone("xxx-xxx-xxxx");


    }


  }


}
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