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Book: The Power Of A Positive No
Author: William Ury
The author William Ury is a master negotiator, public speaker and a trained anthropologist. Over the past three decades, he has mediated in conflicts ranging from coal strikes, to boardroom battles to civil wars around the world. He was the part of the team, mediated the 1962 Cuban nuclear missile crisis, which had 99% possibility of becoming a nuclear world war 3 (thanks to Che Guevara - my hero) just to site an example for his credibility.
I still remember the two words which I said to my client in a conference call, during a heated discussion and a whole bunch of bitter stories after wards. There were better negotiators in my team who backed me up, otherwise I would have been with a different organization now. Nevertheless, its a practical lesson. The master reveals his secrets to all of us. May be I should have read him well before. Guys, trust my words. Read him right away.
“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid a trouble” - Mahatma Gandhi
I will try to give the excerpts from this book. Everyday we find ourselves in situations in which we need to say ‘No’ to people on whom we depend. When our No is confronted, all of us fall into one of these three A’s.
Ury proposes a Positive NO, which will actually make the other person to accept your NO and still maintain a healthy relationship with you. Positive NO follows this structure “Yes!. No. Yes?”
Confused?. Read the book. he he he.
First Yes - expresses your interests, uncover your needs, interests, values and reach down to the core of what you stand for. Its internally focused.
No - asserts your power. This is something that you want to be changed. Ury proposes a variety of techniques to make your No, a very positive one.
Second Yes - invitation to the others to come to an agreement that satisfies your interests as well as saves the others face. Basically, you need to build a golden bridge to connect the canyon that your NO may create. Its externally focused on others.
Ury explains these in detail with lots of real world situations. He guides us way from preparing, delivering and following-through our Positive NO. Lots of techniques like Going to Balcony, Name the Game, Use of I-statement, we-statements, the-statements, the acceptance speech test etc. and tips to say NO effectively are explained in detail which will make sure that a mutually beneficial agreement is reached.
I would recommend this book to everyone. Five stars !!!Please buy the book from your local bookstore.